100 WC: However, she couldn’t believe what she had done

100 WC: However, she couldn’t believe what she had done

Jemma nodded, acting as if she was listening. Nothing seemed right anymore, and the world would never be the same, no matter how many people acted like it was. It was frustrating, having people just ignore everything from the past week. She fiddled with her pen, completely ignoring everything her mother was saying. “However, she couldn’t believe what she had done!” Jemma watched as the minutes turned to hours, and wondered if she would ever leave her Mother’s office. This wasn’t even her house. She couldn’t live at her house, Jemma’s sister burned it down. “Where’s Cara?” Jemma wondered out loud. Her mother opened her mouth to reply, but got drowned out by the sound of a crackling fire.

4 thoughts on “100 WC: However, she couldn’t believe what she had done

  1. OK Heidi, you’ve got me. I was captured by the opening, drawn in further by the middle section, then completely intrigued by the ending. What on earth has happened (and is unfolding) here?! You’ve done a great job of offering just enough tidbits of information to set the reader’s imagination racing without laying it all out plainly, thus leaving them hungry for more.
    Well done and keep rising to the Challenge. (I’ll be recommending this post for this week’s Showcase)

  2. Heidi HOW ARE YOU SO AMAZING AT WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!! This piece is yet another amazing and fantastic piece. It actually reminds me of when Cheryl burnt down Thornhill. You are an amazing writer and i LOVE this piece so much. Amazing work, like Eloise said ‘You never fail to impress’.

  3. Hi Heidi,

    I really like your use of punctuation and speech and I also really like how you vary the way you start the sentences which help to build the story. You have used the commas perfectly and the story flows fantastically, this is a fabulous piece of work, keep up the great work!

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