100 wc-

Goal- To write a science fiction text.

Lara laughed. ” I remember her!” The one who had never seen planet earth? Yeah, yeah, memories.” Her smile went cold and for an awkward moment, Dan didn’t know what to say. Then she started laughing again. Dan would never get girls. Lara held the stone in her hands. “Wow. writing a time capsule was actually a really good idea. Now we can see alien girl’s life from another point of view.” A shiver ran down Dan’s spine. Although Lara thought it was a good idea, he had seen it. Where everybody looked the same.

2 thoughts on “100 wc-

  1. emily2017 says:

    hi heidi,
    that post is really cool, I find it very intersting and creepy and the
    picture is sooo Weird. I love your pink palace blog and it is very pink!! 🙂
    you did a really good job on your punctuation and I can get a clear image in my mind on how the story goes and maybe you should add talking on a new line.
    I love and enjoy reading posts on your blog.
    your sencerely,
    Emily V

  2. juliet2014 says:

    Hi Heidi,
    I really enjoyed your story, it was very interesting. In the middle of your second sentence you have an extra talking mark though. Something you could improve on is adding another line each time a character talks. e.g.
    Lara laughed, “I remember her! The one who had never seen planet earth? Yeah, yeah, memories.”
    Her smile went cold for an awkward moment. Dan didn’t know what to say. Then she started laughing again. Dan would never get girls. Lara held the stone in her hands.
    “Wow. Writing a time capsule was actually a really good idea. Now we can see an alien girl’s life from another point of view.” etc.
    Overall it was a really good story.
    Juliet

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